What about everything?

My mind is whirring,
My heart is stirring.
I cannot breathe,
I grind my teeth.

It drives me crazy.
I toss and turn,
That night is long.
It feels like everything is going wrong.

The truth is different.
My mind flickers
From thought to thought.
Catching, grasping at hidden fears.
Lies become the truth.
My heart contracts,
My mouth is clamped shut.
Suffering in silence is my normal.

I want to scream,
I want some peace.
How long does it take
To change one's view of life?
To take away the rose coloured glasses?
How much time do I have to wait until this passes?

One step at a time they say.
But what about tomorrow?
Forget about today.
What if something goes wrong?
It feels like I am forgetting
The lyrics to my own song.
Who am I? What do I want?
Why can't my life come to a halt?
Just for a second, one second.
But I am stuck with this.
A pit in my stomach,
A lump in my chest,
A million days unrest.
Until suddenly I see,
All I need to do is breathe.